PrettyInPrada21 on Xanga

Sunday, 07 February 2010

Currently
The Twilight Saga: New Moon Soundtrack
By Various Artists
Death Cab for Cutie - Meet me on the Equinox
see related
Because Everything, Everything Ends...

Should I stop being friends with someone because they want to be more? I don't see how a friendship could workout if one of them are always thinking that maybe one day it'll turn into more when you know with all you're heart it'll never be more. ever.
What would happen when I get into a relationship? There would be too much jealousy and I'll be constantly having to choose between a friend and a boyfriend. I'm sick of having only guy friends and then loosing them all whenever I get a boyfriend. its not fair.

Being friends with someone who has feeling for you is always so awkward. What do you do when they are flirting with you? i don't want to flirt back because i don't want to lead anyone on. I don't want to return any affection because they will take it in the wrong way since they are in a vulnerable position.

Guys and girls cannot be just friends when one has feelings for the other. For example, Joey thinks that one day we will be together. But I know for a fact we never will. He is no way my type for so many reasons on so many different levels. I told him i just want to be friends, but he still thinks it'll be more. he's convinced of it. when i told him I just want to be friends, he said "you're right, its better to be best friends first then become boyfriend and girlfriend." I don't want to feel like my friendship with him has an agenda. I don't want someone being friends with me for the sole purpose of thinking that maybe one day it'll be more. And he still thinks that friends can still fuck. no they cant. friends with benefits can, but not just plain regular friends, which we are. He doesn't get it.

It's lonely being in my position. People think that I'm so lucky because I'm so beautiful and that I can get any guy I want. While having that is a huge plus, it has some major downsides. No one wants to be my friend.
Girls don't want to hang out with me because I'm prettier than them and they get jealous. And what makes it worse is that when I'm out at the bar or at a club with girls, I get all the attention and compliments and that makes the girls never want to go out with me again. I don't blame them, though. I'd feel the same way.
Every guy wants to be around me. My ex, Ray, said it best - "Every guy is either going want to fuck you or marry you, but only because you are so beautiful. They'll see you look perfect so they will think you are". This was years ago and I remember that like it was yesterday. And he's been dead on. i can't count how many guy friends I've had in the past, and yet as I'm typing this I have zero friends. How? Because they always try to make it more. They always try to hook up with me and try to push me into having a relationship or have sex. When I get a boyfriend, all my friends leave me because whats the point? Their chances of getting me into bed just plummeted even more.
Then all my boyfriends obsess about us getting married. They are 100% convinced we are going to get married. They tell me they love me before they even know me. They'll tell me on a first date. How could anyone possible love someone after only hanging out with someone once? Its because I'm beautiful and they get confused. Even further into relationships, we'll talk about getting married and I start to look forward to it, but then they start realizing that I'm not a blow up doll, I'm a human being and I have my flaws. Then they bail...

Monday, 01 February 2010

Leave me ALONE!!

I really wish I never let Joey back into my life. He doesn't get that i ONLY want to be friends. And no, Joey, friends CAN'T still fuck. Do you actually think that YOU could get a girl like ME!? You're 35yrs old, you STILL live at home with your parents in their basement, you're 5'2 and 300lbs and you're a pervert on top of that! What makes you think its ok to talk about how badly you want to eat my pussy and fuck me doggy style?? I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole! All you ever do is talk about sex in a very disgusting manner. Then you have the nerve to call me a boring 80yr old nun when I get offended by your "humor" and your sexual harassment! I mean come on! You never, ever will be able to impress a girl like me. I'm thin, fit, gorgeous, and i have class and standards. I am THE perfect girl. Stop aiming so high. The only thing you'll ever be able to get is some desperate, equally fat and ugly chick as you. And what really annoys me is that while you should be thanking your lucky stars you're even hanging out with me and that I even give you the time of day, you have to point out ever "hott" girl you see and go on and on about her. Wow, great game buddy. here's some advice, next time you're trying to impress a girl, don't point out every "hott" chick you see when the girl is 1,000x uglier than the girl you're actually with. If this annoys me, a beautiful girl, I can't imagine how bad its going to annoy the behemoth you actually get one day.

On another, slightly less angry note, you come on wayy too strong. You don't have to make a joke every 5 seconds and stop forcing yourself on my parents. I didn't want you to meet them, but you just had to show up at my door with a bottle of wine for my parents. Stop kissing their ass! And please, for the love of God, stop asking me if my parents talk about you or ask about you. You're not that fuckin important!!!

And stop trying to buy me, you're making yourself look stupid. After 2 years of me saying no to you, you now have to resort to spending lots of money on me? I'm STILL going to tell you no! You seriously don't get it. Now you're texting me asking me why I don't talk to you anymore...well maybe it's because I'm sick of you spending money on me as a way to make me feel obligated to keep hanging out with you, or maybe you're trying to bribe me, either way, you look pathetic. I'm sick of you talking to me like I'm some phone sex operator. Can't you take a hint?? Don't you realize that every time you do that I suddenly go completely silent or get very uncomfortable? And yet you still go on and on. What makes you think what you're saying is turning me on?? i can't believe you actually thought i would want to start masturbating and I would come by hearing you talk about the shit you want to do to me. When really, what it does to me is make me feel like I'm being molested by a short, ugly fat guy (wait, that's EXACTLY what you are) and it makes me want to NEVER open my legs again. You are a sick, sick human being. We could be having a completely innocent conversation about our pets, then suddenly you have to turn it into something that I never want to experience again. You make me feel SO violated. I tried letting you in my life again, I tried being open and friendly to you, I tried to enjoy myself with you, but after seeing the lack of respect you have for all women and your sick sense of humor (that video of that girl crying and then got a dick shoved in her mouth was NOT "sooo funny" as you said) after realizing how perverted you are - meeting 17yr old girls online when you are 35 on an "established men" website, where basically you meet a girl who ONLY wants to be with you because you spend money on her. How low could someone have to sink to have to settle for a gold digger and be perfectly ok with it. And btw, if I was signed up to look for an established man and I got matched up with YOU, I'd want my money back. Nothing could be more opposite of established than a 35yr old man living at Hotel Mommy, driving a toyota and working at a storage garage and as a DJ. And while I'm speaking of you being a DJ, NO ONE over the age of 25 should STILL be a DJ. It just makes you look sad. Especially when you call yourself an established man! Oh, and a 17yr old??? Now you have to prey on young girls??? i can't believe you don't see anything wrong with this. Can't you get a girl, or should I say woman, your own age?? Oh, wait, no, you cant, they know better.

You make me sick. I'm actually changing my number so I never have to be bothered by you again.